Hidden Truths
by LinZE
Summary: Can justice be done when the truth is finally brought out into the light, or do secrets well buried do nothing but hurt when they are uncovered? Finished at last! Hope you like it and yes, there may be a sequel
1. The Letter

HIDDEN TRUTHS 

DISCLAIMER:  Ok so all the regular characters you have heard of before belong to JK Rowling so all I can do I hope she doesn't mind my borrowing them.

SUMMERY: Can justice be done when the truth is finally brought out into the light, or do secrets well buried do nothing but hurt when they are uncovered?

AUTHORS NOTES: This story is set when James Potter and co. were at Hogwarts.  As for the age-old question of well – ages.  I have MM as in her late-twenties when most of this tale takes place and Dumbledor at maybe fifty.  It also relies on the fact that these two already had a strong friendship at this age.

Chapter one – The Letter.

            Today was Harry's birthday.  He was seventeen and about to enter his last year at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  He shuddered at this thought.  The last six years had undoubtedly been the best in his life  - despite everything.  This summer had also more than lived up to expectations with both he and Ron had spending the summer with Hermione and her family.  First they had spent a month in the french countryside in a cottage so remote that the nearest house had been a good half an hours walk away.  Then they had returned to Dorset where the Granger's home was.  Over the weeks they had done many things including play the odd game of three-person quiditch (made possible by a large garden surrounded be tall poplar trees).  But today had been a lazy day – consisting mainly of lying on the grass reading and trying to teach Mr Granger the knack of wizarding chess – their endeavours had not been wholly successful.  They had had dinner outside and as dusk fell a series of owls flew into the garden and waited patiently to have their packages and letters removed before perching along the low railing that surrounded the patio where they sat.

"I may never get used to that."  Commented Mrs Granger with a smile pulling her gaze away from the birds in order to clear away the dishes.  "I tell you youngsters what, we'll do the dishes tonight before we head out to the cinema – Birthday treat."  This was greeted by a chorus of 'thank you's from all except Hermione's dad who just pulled a face.

 "Well?  What ya get?"  Asked Ron as the two grown-ups disappeared inside. Harry began to unwrap his parcels carefully as they all tried to guess what each contained before it became obvious.

"Definitely from Hagrid."  Said Hermione as he picked up a rather large, untidy package.

"Hmm I agree."  He told her removing the inevitable 'rock' cakes and feeling around the paper for anything he had missed.  He pulled out some sort of certificate and read it aloud.  "This entitles the owner to one years free subscription to The Carrot – the wizarding worlds favourite satirical newspaper."

"Wow!  You are sooo lucky – that can be so clever.  They once…." Hermione was drowned out by Ron soon though.

"You had better sign it now in case you forget."  He told him pointing to the dotted line at the bottom of the page.  Harry took a proffered quill and signed the sheet, which immediately vanished with a small poof of smoke.

"Next!"  Ron called handing him a small package.  Harry pulled the note attached to it out and read that first.

"Harry Potter, Happy Birthday, yours sincerely A. Dumbledor."  He mumbled quietly as he pulled the wrapping off the present subconsciously remembering the last present his Head teacher had given him.

"Professor Dumbledor sent you sherbet lemons!?"  Hermione exclaimed a mixture of surprise and disbelief in her voice.  'Apparently so.'  Harry thought and couldn't help but smile while remembering the older man's obsession with the muggle sweets.  Reaching out he picked up the last parcel moving it to the side so he could leaf through the remaining letters no-doubt most of which came from his friends at school – after all he didn't have any others. He looked through them noting he had received a card from both Victor Krum and Fleur DeLacour but he could no longer put off opening the parcel from his Godfather than fly (without a broom).   He quickly broke the seal on the letter attached to the rectangular package to find what he had to say.  Unlike what he had come to expect Sirius's note seemed relatively short.

_Dear Harry,_

_It seems just like yesterday when you were born and it is sometimes hard for me to comprehend just how much you have grown in even these last few years.  You have faced many more trials in your 17 years than most wizards will in their entire lifetimes and this is why I know that I am doing the only thing I can by fulfilling your fathers wishes.  I'm not sure if I ever told you this – but your father was an avid keeper of diaries.  He must have worked his way through at least twenty volumes in the years I knew him alone.  Unfortunately most were destroyed along with your parent's house.  However almost a year before You-Know-Who attacked, James asked me to look after one volume in particular.  I did as he asked and placed it safely in my own Gringgotts vault and it remained there until recently.  I believe that handing it on to you would be what he would want and so that is what I have done.  All I can tell you is that this volume covers the September to April of our final year at Hogwarts._

_I know this isn't exactly a traditional birthday present (I assume that the new _Firebolt-x series_ waiting for you at school will make up for that) but I hope that you gain something from it.  As I have never opened the book much less read it – I can't tell you what to expect but only that any questions you have I (or Moony) will do our best to answer.  In any case, all my love to all the three musketeers and remember to keep safe._

SB 

****

Harry just sat and stared at the paper in one hand and then back at the diary in the other totally oblivious to what was going on around him.

"Harry?  Harry?  Are you in there?  What did Sirius send you?"  Ron asked waving a hand in front of his eyes.

"Oh…." He said seeming to snap back to reality all of a sudden.  "He, he got me a knew broom."  He told them absentmindedly.  " I think I'm going to go upstairs a while."  He said quietly leaving the table and all his assorted gifts and heading inside leaving his companions very confused.

A/N:  yeah - this is the first chapter in I have no idea how many (as I haven't written them yet heehee) and how fast I write will of course be proportional to how many reviews I get so… thanks for reading 

LinZE


	2. Beginnings & Endings

Chapter2 - Beginnings & Endings

            Ron and Hermione just looked at each other neither entirely sure what Sirius could have said to cause such an abrupt change in their friend.

"Looked kinda like a book to me."  Ron said quietly after a few minutes silence.

"Hmmm."  Agreed Hermione without sifting her gaze from the far end of the garden.  "We should give him some space though."  He nodded in agreement knowing that sometimes a little space was all that kept you sane.

"Not too long though."  He added as he settled into his own thoughts gazing silently up at the stars above.  Nothing disturbed the peace and quiet except the song of birds and the quiet closing of the heavy front door as Hermione's parents left.  Ron had found this summer to be somewhat of a change to his usual hectic life at home with his parents and siblings.  Being aloud to spend extended periods of time with his friends without the shadow of work or examinations looming over them had been great.  He honestly couldn't imagine what it would be like when they all graduated at the end of the year when they would all go their separate ways.  It wasn't just his two closest friends he would miss though it was people like Neville, even some of the professors and in a strange kind of nostalgic way, Snape and Malfoy to.  This thought caused an involuntary shudder though as he queried which masochistic part of his subconscious he had pulled that little gem from.  Hermione stood from her chair across the table and stretched like a cat waking up from a nap.  They didn't need to actually say anything to each other as she glanced at the door.  He gave a small nod and followed her as she headed indoors.

            They walked through the rustic style kitchen and into a dimly lit hallway before climbing the two sets of stairs that led to what had served as the boy's bedroom during their stay.  Ron watched as his friend tapped lightly on the door before sticking her head around it.

"Harry?  You ok?"  She asked as she walked ahead of him into the room.

"Yeah."  Came the quiet reply.

"If you want to be alone then that's fine."  Reassured Ron as thy both sat down on the bed next their friend.

"No.  It's ok, really."  Harry replied seeming to shake off his melancholy.  Picking up a leather bound book Harry turned it over in his hands.  "Apparently my Dad wrote a diary."  There was another moment's silence before he continued.  "This was only one of many apparently but he singled this one out, asked Sirius to look after it for him."

"Do you know why he chose that one?"  Hermione asked her natural inquisitiveness rising to the fore.

"No idea. And I don't think Sirius does either." 

"Are you going to read it?"  Ron couldn't help but ask.

"I guess so.  It seems so strange that I should get this what – eight days? Before I start my last year at Hogwarts."

"Maybe that's why he gave it to you now?"  Ron hypothesised.

"Maybe."

"If you want to read it alone then…." Hermione began.

"No."  Harry cut in rather abruptly.  "I want you guys to hear it to.  After all it's bound to say something interesting about Sirius and Professor Lupin.  It might even have something to tell us about Snape."  This brought a small smile to Ron's face.

"Hmm. Blackmail."  He said rubbing his hands together and shufting his eyes around.  This resulted in the other two rolling around with laughter gasping for breath and generally looking equally stupid as he did.

"I don't know about you guys but I think I'm ready for some more of that oh-so-delicious-sugar-free-ice-cream. Hmm?"  Asked Harry once they had all recovered a little.  This was greeted by all round approval and they traipsed back down stairs again.

            They sat in the kitchen the tub of 'ice-cream' on the table between them.

"What I wouldn't give to be able to visit Honeydukes right about now."  Said Ron wistfully.

"But just think how much better this is for your teeth!"  Harry jibbed at him and they all shared a smile at one of Hermione's dad's favourite phrases.  Living with two dentists for the last six weeks had meant that sugar had been in short supply.

"If you're really that desperate then I'm sure Harry would let you have one of his rock cakes."  Countered Hermione with a smile.  But despite all of his pretences Ron couldn't deny that it obviously wasn't that bad as, two minutes later, it was all gone.  After they washed their spoons and put the container in the bin they moved through to the living room.  Flopping down on the couch, Ron watched as his friend's hand ran over the latch of his father's diary.  He couldn't explain it but for some reason he felt sure that they were going to find out something well, important didn't seem quite the right word.  His thoughts were interrupted though when Harry spoke.

"Do you suppose it's magical?"

"By the look of it – I would say yes but I really can't be sure." Hermione offered.

"As long as it's not like Neville's." Harry said with a shudder.  Neville's diary had brought much hilarity and chagrin to their dorm last year.  Every time he had written in the book, which had been charmed to read back what had been written on previous occasions, it would start to speak.  Unfortunately this was a book with an attitude problem.  It would twist the writer's words and come out with some truly astounding statements at the top of its charmed-to-sound-like-it's-owners voice.  Ron couldn't help but snigger at the memory of the diary's proclamation of Neville's 'true, deep and undying love' for Professor Snape.

"Well I guess we won't know until I open it!"  Harry said with a somewhat nervous smile.  The other two subconsciously leaned forward in their seats the anticipation mounting.  Slowly and carefully he undid the simple latch and opened it up at the first page.

A/N Ok so maybe we'll get to the interesting stuff in the next couple of chapters (!)  Thanks for the reviews keep 'em coming  


	3. Pages Both Empty and Full

Chapter 3 –  Pages Both Empty and Full

A/N:  Here come the first of what will probably be many more alterations to what back history the books have given us.  This is just to let you know that I do know the liberties I'm taking and please don't be angry.  As always the reviews were most welcome- keep reading.

There was nothing.  No explosion, no angry proclamation of 'I HAVE BEEN OPENED WITHOUT PERMISSION', there wasn't even a single word written on the first page.  Hermione felt slightly let down.  She wasn't sure what she had been expecting but that certainly hadn't been it.  Harry glanced up at them both and she tried to smile reassuringly.  Again they all watched eagerly as he turned over the next page.

_"This Diary Belongs to…" _Spoke an official sounding female voice.

_"James T. Potter"_ Said a much younger male echoing the writing on the page as the voice before him had.  It was Harry's father.

"The Enchanted Tale Keeper range of diaries and other stationary is under copy-write to Flourish & Bolts, Diagon Alley, London.  Volume controls and voice settings are to be found on the last two pages."  Continued the female.  Harry quickly turned the book to the end and increased the volume slightly by running his finger up the appropriate bar.

"That better?"  He asked after the test.

"Much."  Replied leaning back in her chair convinced that she would be able to hear what ever 'James T. Potter' had to say.  

"This is all rather exciting."  Said Ron stating the obvious as their friend turned back to the beginning.  She could see from where she sat that the pages were covered in a fairly neat sloping script occasionally broken by a date lined up to the left of the page and carefully underlined.

_"September 1st." James' voice began again_.  "It is SO good to be back here.  I guess it must seem slightly strange to say that I'm glad to be back at school but well, I am.  It's not that I didn't have a good holiday, it was fab, but there's only so much time I can spend with Mum and Dad before I begin to miss my fellow Marauders.  You should have seen us when we got back together on the platform this morning – I think we my have scared the new first years with all our jumping up and down.  Scrap that – they probably thought that we were first years.  Anyway Sirius seems to have had a good time and the break in his nose that he had boasted about in the last owl he sent was even more spectacular than I had expected.  Peter was quiet as ever I'm never entirely sure that he even listens to what goes on anymore, permanently away with the fairies.  Moony wasn't looking too hot though, but then again it was a knew moon yesterday night so…__

_"The train journey was pretty normal, it rained and Sirius almost got in a fight with Lucius Malfoy and his gang.  Like I said, nothing new.  I had kind of hoped that Malfoy would have grown up a little over the break we are after all in our last year.  Hell, we're all prefects (that is Sirius, Lucious, Serverus and myself are, Lilly got head girl!) anyway he hasn't so we shall just have to see how things go.  Hopefully we can all just get our head down and study 'After all this is NEWT year' as Mum has become so fond of saying.  Argh exams – I swear they never did anybody any good.  It's strange to think that this will be are last year here, our last year all together who knows where we might all be by this time next year.  Oh well, no point dwelling on the future too much at present.  I'm gonna hit the sack, it must be after two and I'm going to have to get up early if I want to shower before breakfast tomorrow morning.  Night."  Hermione opened her eyes, which she had unconsciously shut at the soothing sound of the voice that was very different and yet hauntingly similar to Harry's.  It was so easy to picture a boy lying on his bed in the seventh year boy's dorm in Gryffindor tower with curtains drawn, ink sitting precariously on the edge of the dresser and chewing the end of his quill thoughtfully.  That was her friend's on own characteristic even if he wasn't overtly aware of the fact.  She didn't have long to think though because after a brief pause the voice continued._

_"September 2nd.  Classes started today and already I'm beginning to wonder why I was so glad to be back.  It seems like last years workload was nothing compared to what this is going to be.  I'm already considering re-thinking my choice to take Arithmancy.  I swear Professor Gilmweed couldn't be more Slytherin biased if he tried.  Just because he happens to be their head of house…I mean, Professor Briar isn't biased towards the Gryffindors.  Maybe I should change and do Herbology with him?  It's something to think about (and never actually do of course *smile*) but at least there's no Malfoy this year and Snape's usually fairly harmless when left on his own.  They both ended up in the same transfigurations class as us though.  We had our first double period this afternoon but it went ok as Professor McGonagall had us working from the moment we set foot in the door.  Afterwards she asked us to come by her office for tea tomorrow (Wormtail, Padfoot and me) she said something about an article she wanted to show us.  It's strange – I never would have guessed that she and Dumbledor would have been so good about the animagus thing. I'm glad that the Professor came to us and told us that he knew what we were up to and offered to ask her to help us.  I hate to think what kind of fix we would have got into otherwise but we were lucky."  Hermione was somewhat taken aback by this she had had no idea that Professor McGonagall the rule loving and abiding head of Gryffindor house, had known about Hogwarts three illegal animagus._


	4. Of Sugar and Rituals

Chapter 4 – Of Sugar and Rituals.

            The next week was filled with a myriad of activities as Hermione and Harry continued in their attempt to teach Ron more about the muggle world.  They took him to museums and zoos and even to the cinema.  And in the evenings the three of them would shut themselves away in one room or another, and immerse themselves in the Hogwarts of his parent's days.  They learnt many things that Malfoy's father and Professor Snape had got on with the Marauders just about as well as Harry himself got on with Draco.  They learnt of many pranks that they played some of which they decided Fred and George simply had to be told about (and many which they were definitely not to be told of).  All three had been shocked by the entry in which his father recounted walking in on Professor Flitwick and the Care of Magical Creatures professor 'making out' on the quiditch pitch.  But this was nothing compared to the glee they felt when Gryffindor thoroughly gubbed the Slytherin team in their quiditch match in late November.

            Harry yawned and smiled at his friend who was still jumping around the room doing a victory dance at that latest discovery.

"I really don't think that we should have let him eat that entire stick of rock."  Hermione whispered in his ear.

"Yeah, that's probably the most sugar he's had all summer."  He replied.

"Dah dah, dah dah. Dah.  Dah!  Dah dah, dah dah. Dah.  Dah!  Woohoo hoo hoo yeah!  Woohoo hoo hoo yeah!"

"He's going to be at that all evening isn't he?"  Harry asked.

"Probably."  Ron replied to what was really a rhetorical question about himself.  "I so wish I'd been able to see when your dad stole in front of Snape to steel the snitch!  Can we listen to his entry again?"

"NO!"  Came the unified response to from the other two.

"Look- I think we should head off to bed.  We want to get going early to get into London and the Leaky Cauldron before lunch." Hermione suggested.  They had decided fairly early on to spend the last week of their holidays in Diagon Alley where they could do their shopping and eat ludicrous amounts of Florean Fourtescue's ice cream.

"Sounds like a good idea."  He replied out loud.  "Come on Ron let's grab some sleep."

"But…" He began in a very whiney voice.  Hermione and Harry just rolled their eyes s the latter dragged their friend out of the room the diary tucked safely under his arm.

            It was late the following evening when they returned to the Inn well laden with packages.  Luckily, Ron had calmed down significantly since the previous evening.

"I may never eat again!"  Hermione declared collapsing into a high-backed armchair that sat in front of the fire in the suite where they were staying.

"Hmm."  Echoed Ron.  "Anyone want a drink?"  The other two both groaned out loud before taking him up on his offer.  Once he left, Harry went to his bag and retrieved the book which had rarely left his side since he had acquired it and as with the quirky routine they had developed set it down on the coffee table in front of them.  Hermione pulled out a piece of needlework and threaded her needle with a new colour. Crossing the room Harry looked over her shoulder at the almost complete work.  At first glance it looked rather like the cross-stitch that his Aunt Petunia would leave out if she was expecting a member of the local PTA* or residents association to drop by.  This canvas showed Hogwarts in the dead of night and sitting in the foreground was a tabby cat preening herself but unlike a normal cross-stitch Hermione had charmed the thread before she set to work – the stars twinkled brightly in the sky and the cat was methodically working her way from her ears to the tip of her tail cleaning every bit of fur she could find.  He couldn't help but laugh softly at how much the cat really did look like their transfigurations teacher, or at least it looked like her when she was a cat.

"You really caught the markings."  He complimented her as he pointed to the rectangles that outlined the felines bright amber eyes.  "McGonagall will probably think you spent all term following her around."  They had decided, or rather Hermione had, that it would be nice to give their head of house a Christmas gift this year as they really had grown rather fond of her and as 'they were bound to be way to busy studying' during term time she had also decreed that they would have it all sorted before they left on the express.  So she had begun sewing and Ron and Harry had been given the task of buying a frame – with her advice of course though.  His thoughts were interrupted as Ron returned carrying three overly full tankards.

"Two butter-beers and a hot chocolate."  He announced placing them down on the table and miraculously not spilling any over the diary, much to Harry's relief.  Ron pulled a piece of parchment, which he had been doodling on in previous nights, and a quill.

"Is everybody sitting comfortably?"  He asked playing the part of the storyteller.  He received nods all round so he continued.  "Then we shall begin."  Leaning forward he opened up at the page where they had finished the previous night and sitting back he let his fathers voice permeate his consciousness and focussed on the images that cam to mind with his words.  They had wondered at first whether this was another magical aspect to the book as they had all been able to see what James Potter described so vividly.  In the end however they had decided that it was just the combination of the natural talent of the writer and the fact that they knew most of the characters that the entries revolved around.  They listened for maybe half-an-hour to irregular entries that basically told them that James was snowed under with quiditch practices on top of a hefty workload in preparation for the end of terms they were required to sit.  By the second week in December it seemed that everybody was getting of everybody else's nerves, even more so than usual.  However, there was one ray of excitement that seemed to shine through the darkness.  Moony, Padfoot and Lilly were all to be staying at the school along with James as he couldn't go home for the holidays (his parents were working undercover somewhere for the ministry).  On top of that Professor Dumbledore had invited all the prefects along with the Head boy and girl to join the staff for a '_partay_!' as James put it, after the last feast of the term.  All three of the friends decided that they would listen till the end of term before going to bed that night, desperate to see what it was the Sirius had actually bought is friends and whether or not he really would try and catch Professor McGonagall under the enchanted mistletoe.  So Harry headed out for another round of drinks and when they were all comfortable again re-opened the enchanted pages that they were soon to find held more than simple tails of schoolboy pranks.

*  I don't know if you have these anywhere else but in Britain a PTA is a Parent-Teachers Association.  They basically raise extra money for the school and decide how it gets to be spent.  In the class system of schools they usually rank quite high which I guess is what I was getting at.

A/N – sorry this has taken so long but end of term deadlines and all.  I kind of meant to get further than this but well….  Again Please review even if you don't like it.  If you have any questions or suggestions they'd be appreciated too though I can't promise I'll follow all of them.  Thanks,

LinZE

* A/N.  I don't know if you have these anywhere else but in Britain a PTA is a Parent-Teachers Association.  They basically raise extra money for the school and decide how it gets to be spent.  In the class system of schools they usually rank quite high which I guess is what I was getting at.


	5. Unexpected Extras

Chapter 5 - Unexpected Extras

            _"December 17th.  I know I must of said this a hundred times already but I swear Professor Kipinski makes sure that one of my exams is on the last day of term – that man has a problem.  Anyway it's all over!  Woohoo!  No more work for at least a couple of days before I have to think about homework.  The feast tonight was, as ever, absolutely stunning.  I swear Lupin eats way too much considering how skinny he is and Lilly complains about it way too much to.  One of the Hufflepuff third years tried to start a food fight but Gilmwood soon put a stop to that – tried to take a hundred points off them.  Professor Dumbledore stepped in though and suggested that the punishment was a little harsh considering that it was __almost Christmas.  I almost choked on my brussel sprout at the look on his face and Wormtail had to wallop me one. I'm pretty sure that guy was a bludger in a previous life – I'll have bruises for a week!_

_            "After dinner Lilly, Padfoot and I headed up to the staff room while Moony went to help Wormtail pack – he left early because he was going straight to Finland to meet his parents.  Anyway, Lilly's been trying to convince us since the start of term that it's really just a room and isn't that scary but there's something distinctly wrong about us, the pupils, being in there, where the teachers hang out.  Well in any case it was an experience and it involved mulled mead so it couldn't have been that bad!  I can't believe I just said that, oh well.  In actual fact it was quite interesting, I had a really good discussion with Flitwick about charming your shoe laces so that they didn't come undone and Professor Tucker was telling me all about this new broomstick that's due out here soon the _Nimbus 210_ or something.  I'll have to keep my eye out for that one._

_            "Speaking of keeping eyes out, I swear if I've said it once I've said it a thousand times but Padfoot is head over heels for Professor McGonagall.  You should have see his face when she let her hair down out of that French plait she's always wearing and took off her robes to hung up on the rack with the others.  I never would have guessed that she actually wore _normal_ clothes under there.  Actually in all honesty, I can't blame Sirius she did look distinctly attractive out of all that excess material and with her hair softened. She has this kind of feline grace as well that makes it look as if she could jump a twenty-foot drop without bating an eyelid.  Not my type but…_

_            "Well, while Padfoot spent a good half an hour nursing his glass of mead and watching the aforementioned professor talk with the Head Master I was observing people as well.  It seems that not all the prefects were setting such a good example when it came to restraint in the face of free alcohol – in fact Malfoy was downright drunk by half nine.  It was quite a sight to behold, the solemn Snape trying to get his mentor to show a little decorum.  Unfortunately he wasn't very successful.  In any case, I'm also pretty sure that Padfoot isn't the only one with a thing for our transfigurations teacher.  Well by ten Malfoy had stormed out muttering about something I couldn't discern and some of the professors were beginning to drift away.  I was busy talking to Raith Vector, our distinguished Head boy and Ravenclaw quiditch captain, about tactics.  I'm sure he was about to give something valuable away but SOMEONE was impatient to get away after the love of his life had left.  Ow!  Quit it!  Yes Sirius I meant you.  Anyway we came back and I thoroughly gubbed our man Padfoot at chess, only to then be thrashed by Moony – some things never change.  Now, I'm being told by the three rather impatient figures standing around me that it's time to go play Santa.  We decided on getting McGonagall this pretty cool bracelet.  It has little lions prancing around with their tails in the air on it like some kind of procession or something.  Anyway, I like it and so did Lilly so that was that decided *grin*.  Well we're all going to head up and hand it over now – or so I'm being told by my impatient friends – Ow!  I just had to write that didn't I?  Never mind, see ya."_

            The three friends shuffled in their seats as if about to speak but the break they had become accustomed to between entries never appeared.

            _"I probably shouldn't be writing this, damn it I know I shouldn't be but, but well if I don't I do know that I'll lose it.  I'll do exactly what Padfoot did when we walked in here and punch a whole in one of the walls – not that I blame him.  I don't think I've ever wanted to hit something more in my entire life – no scrap that. I've never wanted to hit SOMEONE more in my entire life."  The tone of James' voice had changed and at another time Ron might have marvelled at the magic woven in these pages that could capture the real-life emotion that it portrayed.  He looked across the room to his two friends both of whom had stopped what they were doing and waited as eagerly as he for Harry's father to continue._

"This isn't making any sense is it?  I guess I should start at the beginning then.  Oh hell, well here goes.   After I finished off my last entry the four of us, Padfoot, Moony, Lilly and I, headed up towards Professor McGonagall's office.  Padfoot was just joking around like always, he stole Lilly's hair clip, which led to an all out war.  Eventually Moony intercepted one of our passes and handed it back to her just before we rounded the corner that led to her office.  The door was open, which wasn't that unusual even for this time of night so I knocked on the frame and stuck my head in.  It must have taken me a minute to realise that something was up and when I did I froze.  It was Lilly's gasp from behind that woke me from my daze.  There was stuff everywhere; I mean the normally pristine office was in complete chaos.  The desk had obviously been swept clean with everything landing on the floor.  One of the chairs by the fireplace was lying on it's back and the curtain pole had been yanked free at one end. 

"I'll go get Professor Dumbledore."  Lupin said quietly before dashing back through the door.  The rest of us stood there in silence for a minute.  I guess neither of them knew what to say, I know I didn't.

_"Oh Merlin."  Sirius broke the silence.  "Is that what I think it is?"  He pointed at a dark stain on the hearthrug still wet enough to glimmer in the dying light of the fire.  If my stomach had worked it's way into one huge knot then by that point then that knot fell to my feet as my heart lurched with the realisation._

_"Professor?"  Called Lilly softly as we crept further forward trying not to dislodge anything._

_"There must be an entrance to her chambers in here somewhere.  Maybe she…" Began Sirius but I lost track of what he was saying as something on the window seat caught my attention._

_"Professor?"  I asked slowly walking towards the pair of amber eyes that were peering out at me from beneath the fallen draperies.  The material began to shake softly as I got closer.  I wasn't sure what I ought to do; any time I had found the Professor in cat form before she had almost immediately become her human self again.  I took another step forward and the cat shuffled further back until her hind legs were up against the window pain.  It's strange that I noticed I suppose but it did strike me how childlike she actually looked with her front paws pulled up over her head.  Turning round I looked toward Lilly and Sirius as he bolted through the door.  Now I guess that he went to go get Madame Pomfry 'cause that's whom he came back with later but I barely noticed him leave._

_"Lilly," I called and she seemed to click back into the real world as she walked over._

"Hello?"  She called quietly.  This time the cat peered up at her through a gap in her paws.  She was always better at Care of Magical creatures than me – or anybody else I know, and Professor McGonagall certainly seemed more comfortable with her even if she was still visibly shaking.  Lilly was babbling now.  I have no idea what she was saying but it had a comforting sort of melody to it.  All of a sudden though the Professor tensed up and curled herself further into a ball.  It was a few seconds before we even got a clue as to what was wrong.

_"Will you quieten down?"  Came a familiar hiss from down the corridor.  It was only another few seconds before Malfoy appeared hanging onto Snape, the only thing keeping him up.  Snape stopped just inside the door and stood silently for a bit.  I guess he must have looked like we did when we had arrived._

_"What in Merlin's name…?"  He breathed heavily.  At that moment Malfoy seemed to realise where he was and quickly clamped eyes on the terrified cat.  I got the biggest shock when he raised his hand to reach towards her and the cat, or the professor, or whichever leapt in the air.  She started clawing her way up the panelling next to the glass as if in a desperate attempt to get away from him.  I couldn't take my eyes off them, I don't know why but I just couldn't.  I heard Lilly try to talk to the professor but I get the feeling she wasn't going to get anywhere.  Maybe, his timing was as expert as ever but just before I started in at Snape to take his plastered friend out of their, Professor Dumbledore stepped out of the fire followed shortly by Remus."_

A/N:  I didn't plan on stopping here but things are a little hectic with me at the moment – hence how long it's been since the last post – but it shouldn't be so long next time.  However, as always reviews will help speed up the process *smile*.

LinZE


	6. Unwelcome Truths

Chapter 6 – Unwelcome Truths

"Before I'd even had a chance to acknowledge the arrival of Professor Dumbledore and Moony properly, Professor McGonagall had literally leapt across the room in two bounds and was in the Head teacher's arms.

_"There, there.  It's ok Tabby.  I'm right here."  He whispered and ran a hand across her back.  She seemed to calm somewhat in his presence despite the fact that Malfoy was mumbling under his breath about something.  Dumbledore looked up at us and then round to Snape.  He started to talk without further encouragement the words tumbling out of his mouth as if barely controlled._

_"I, I went to look for him.  Luscious, that is.  After he'd stormed out of the staff room I'd assumed he'd go back to his room and crashed but when I went to check on him about a half hour ago he wasn't there.  Didn't look like he had been since before dinner.  I wasn't sure he was in a fit state to look after himself properly so I figured I better go look for him.  I tried a couple of places but then figured I'd go see if he'd turned up in the tower yet.  He was in the corridor outside the Great hall – I only found him by chance really.  Heard him more than anything else.  He was cussing under his breath…something about 'stupid Gryffindor wenches' and 'woman not knowing they're places'" At least he had the decency to look abashed at his friends words.  "I think he was looking for this" Snape held out Malfoy's wand "left it in his room."  He added absently.  "Anyway he kept saying stuff about memory charms and how it should have been so simple.  It didn't take a genius to figure who he was talking about.  So I thought I better come and see what kind of a mess he had made."  He trailed off towards the end.  If it had been anybody but Serverus Snape I would have said that he was in shock.  Dumbledore nodded a little, I think he was acknowledging his honesty which to tell the truth I was surprised by._

_"Well, let me through then!"  Came Madame Pomfrey's voice from the doorway.  Snape moved Malfoy's bulk a little, as he was now back at his original state of awareness, and let her and Padfoot through.  If she was as shocked as the rest of us she didn't let it deter her._

_"Minerva?"  She asked quietly obviously looking to Professor Dumbledore for an answer._

_"Right here."  He answered quietly.  I think it's the first time I've seen the sparkle form his eyes disappear so completely.  They exchanged a look with each other._

_"I'm no vet Albus."  She whispered as she carefully made a cursory inspection of 'Tabby'.  I'm sure it wasn't meant for my ears but I heard it anyway.  "Well, I'm certainly not going to be able to do anything here."  She said loud enough for us all to hear.  "Let's get her to the hospital wing.  I would also suggest," She said turning to Snape.  "That you take you're friend back to his bed and let him sleep that off.  He's going to have one hell of a hangover when he wakes up."    There wasn't exactly malice in her voice but the usual caring tone was absent._

_"Professor?"  Snape asked.  Again he nodded.  _

_"I would appreciate it if you could ensure that Mr Malfoy was in my office at ten o'clock tomorrow morning."  This time it was Snape who nodded.  He tried to turn Malfoy but he wasn't cooperating and after a second he pulled out his wand and said "Mobilus corpus" and floated his mentor's body out of the room._

_"Gentlemen, Miss Evans.  I would suggest that you return to your common room now."  Padfoot made as if to protest but Dumbledore continued.  "I will be sure to keep you as informed as I can. Now…" He didn't need to say anything else.  We all made for the door in silence.  We must have been half way back before I noticed Lilly's shoulders shaking silently in front of me.  I wrapped an arm around her and we all stopped there in the middle of the deserted corridor.  I pulled her closer for a minute and left my arm around her when we made our way to the portrait hole.  I guess when it swung shut it was like we had permission to give up hiding what we were feeling.  It's been at least an hour now and no one seems to be showing any signs of going up to bed.  I get the feeling that none of us wants to be alone right now and well…I don't know what will happen in the morning and we really don't have any choice but to wait and see.  So I guess that's what I'll do – wait and see."_

None of them moved.  It was as if they didn't even dare to breathe, that if no one said anything then the spell would remain unbroken and they wouldn't have to think of what they had heard.  Harry lent forward and closed the diary.  He didn't know about the others but he needed some time to let it sink in.  Ron cleared his throat.

"Did your dad just say what I think he did?"  He asked quietly.  "I mean does that mean that Malfoy's father well…" He didn't get to finish his sentence though.

"That bastard!"  Hermione interrupted knocking her sewing to the floor as she stood shaking with rage.   Harry jumped at the unusual outburst.  "That total, complete and utter Bastard."  Something occurred to Harry though as he watched her vent her frustration.

"We don't know what happened."  The other two just turned and looked at him.  "We don't know what happened and we don't know who's to blame."

"Like hell we don't!"  Hermione hissed at him.  "Even Snape said it – 'It doesn't take a genius to figure it out.'  Luscious-bloody-Malfoy got slashed and then went to take what was 'rightfully his' from a 'bloody Gryffindor wench'!"    By the time she was finished there were tears streaming down her cheeks and Harry wasn't sure she'd stay upright for much longer on her own.  Bother he and Ron up to her and cautiously went up to her and when she made no protest, wrapped their arms around her.

"I agree," He said quietly after a few minutes. "In all likelihood that's exactly what happened and I guess we'll find out soon enough but at the moment we're jumping to conclusions.  It felt strange to be the voice of reason; Harry was usually the emotional impassioned one.  The other two seemed to take in what he said and agree with it as neither voice protested.  By unspoken consensus the three of them settled down into the sofa the boys either side of Hermione.  The silence was unbroken for along while, apart from the occasional sniff.  This time it was Ron to interrupt their thoughts,

"If what we think happened, really did happen," He began.  "How come we've never heard about it before?"

"I'm not sure, but I guess it's not the kind of thing you're going to publicise.  I mean," Hermione continued.  "If I were Professor McGonagall, I certainly wouldn't want all my students to know about it."  She quietly wiped her eyes with her hanky before looking up at Ron and then Harry.

"But, I mean, he's a public figure – everyone knows who Luscious Malfoy is.  He has influence.  Surely that wouldn't be the case if he had a conviction behind him?"

A/N – sorry this took so long.  All things pain and medication related got in the way.  Hopefully it wont be so long next time.  Thanks for all your reviews and please keep them coming – 

Thanks

Linz


	7. Helping Hands I

Chapter 7 - Helping Hands

            Hermione stirred from her sleep only vaguely aware of her aching muscles and the sun that fell on her face from the grated window high above her head.  It took her a minute to understand the unsettled feeling that weighed heavily on her heart.  It wasn't long though before she recalled the evening before and the diary's entry that had stimulated her subconscious during her brief sleep.  She shuddered involuntarily and quickly pulled herself into a sitting position.  The three of them must have dozed off at some point during the night but none of them had left the comfort or the sitting room and each other's company.  Harry was curled up in one of the huge wingback chairs by the fire and Ron was slouched at the other end of the couch from herself.  She sat quietly with her knees drawn up to her chest and chin resting on top for a while thinking about what they had learned. She knew Harry was right to point out that they really didn't know what had happened but… There was something inside her that told her that it had happened.  Her mind conjured up images of the trashed room and the petrified anamagi but it was still somehow hard to equate those with the calm strict, professional exterior of their head of house.  Instead of making the whole thing less believable to her though, this just reaffirmed her belief that what had happened in that room all those nights ago had been beyond horrific.  They had all commented on the difference between the Professor McGonagall that the Marauders described and their own, perhaps they had found the reason why the change seemed quite so drastic.  She looked across to Ron who seemed to be waking.  He had obviously forgotten where he was though as he tried to roll over only to find himself on the floor.  Harry bolted upright at the crash and the look on his face was priceless.  Hermione tried not to laugh, it felt wrong somehow, but she just couldn't help herself.  It wasn't long before Harry snickered slightly at Ron who was still looking round trying to wake up.  When he did snap out of it he grabbed a cushion off the sofa, which was now above him and threw it at his friend.  She was glad for the distraction and the jollity that broke the heavy atmosphere a little.

"How about breakfast you two?"  She asked hoping to avert an all out pillow fight. They boys agreed and after they had all freshened up and changed, at her insistence, they went through into the public area of the inn.  It was still early and it was quiet as they shared toast and tea none having the appetite for anything more.  Their attempts at conversation failed miserably and Hermione was aware of an almost physical need to go back to the journal.  It was an unspoken consensus when they returned, that they settled back down in their seats and watched as Harry reopened the book.  She had always held the written word above so many other things, as an aid to learning and more generally broadening ones horizons.  Never once had she ever regretted reading something, never once regretted learning of something; she just hoped that wasn't about to change.

_"December 18th.  It must have been about six this morning when the portrait whole opened back up and Professor Dumbledore came in._

_"I thought that I might find you here."  He said smiling a little.  I was sitting in the corner of the sofa with my arms around Lilly who had fallen into a light sleep not too long before.  Sirius was sitting on the floor with his back up against the wall staring at the floor while Remus had been pacing on and off all night.  He walked across and perched on the low coffee table in front of the fire.  Moony and Padfoot joined us and we all looked at him expectantly.  There was something different about him though, something I had never seen before.  He looked drawn-out and tired as if the weight of what he knew was too much to carry.  Lilly stirred in my arms as I began to think the worst._

_"She's not…" Lupin beat me to it._

_"No, for the moment Professor McGonagall is still alive." I could hear us all breathe a sigh of relief.  "However I have come here to ask your help."  This threw me I wasn't sure what on earth he was going to ask but I took a guess telling him that we hadn't told anyone and nor would we.  He smiled again but it still didn't make it to his eyes._

_"I don't doubt that and on Tabby's behalf I'll thank you for it but that's isn't why I'm here.  At the moment we've done all we can for her but she doesn't seem willing or able to return to her human form and until she does…" We could fill in the gaps or at least I could after hearing what Madame Pomfry had said earlier.  "I have little doubt that you recall during your animagus training that you learned how to help Mr Pettigrew when he became stuck in his animal state."  Boy do I remember, that was one strange experience.  "You," He looked at Padfoot and myself.  "are at this moment the only other Animagus within a hundred miles of here.  I cannot order you to help but I only ask you."_

_"Of course."  Sirius replied before looking at me.  Professor Dumbledore's gaze fell upon me as well, that searching gaze that makes you feel as if there is no point in even trying to lie to this man.  I just nodded – it wasn't a hard decision to make._

_            Nobody said a word as we made our way to the hospital wing.  I swear I could get there in sleep I've been there so often.  If it isn't Moony after well… then one of Peter's spells has backfired, Sirius has fallen fowl of one of his own tricks or we've just played Slytherin at quiditch.  I know that maybe it's wrong, but I shiver every time I think of them, Slytherin that is. Maybe it's because every time I do, I think of their head prefect but it's still a generalisation I'd rather not make.  I see his face everywhere though, in the portraits that line the stairs and in patches of light in the shadows where something reflects what little light there is.  I hear his voice in the wind that whistles round the tower and along some of the draughtier passageways.  Still, I'm sure it'll pass with time along with that nauseated feeling in my stomach but if I feel like this then… Then I can only imagine what it'll be like for her.  _

_When we reached the ward we slowed, or at least Dumbledore who was in the lead did causing both of us to in accord reduce our speed.  I think he was composing himself but he has never been easy to read and that certainly hasn't changed.  As the doors swung shut behind us Madame Pomfry bustled over._

_"Poppy." He greeted quietly as they led us along to a room at the far end of the wing.  "How is she fairing?"_

_"I've told you before Albus – I can't be sure but, well her blood pressures still dropping.  It's low, even for a cat.  I've healed what I can but she could be bleeding internally or it could be shock but…Anyway I'm glad your back she calms somewhat in your presence."  He nodded.  I glanced at Padfoot and he looked straight back.  We didn't need words we both knew that we were pretty much the last option._

A/N:  Sorry for the delay (again) I'll try and do better next time *smile* Keep reviewing please.  Linz


	8. Helping Hands II

Chapter 8 – Helping Hands II

            "_The room that we crowded into was certainly not designed to accommodate large numbers and was already overly warm when we entered.  It held the regular hospital style bed up against one wall sticking out into the middle of the room, unoccupied.  Opposite it was a large fireplace, which was lit, and providing pretty much all the light.  On either side of the grate was a high-backed chair in a neutral navy colour and between those a hearthrug.  It was there that there was a pile of blankets shaped into something approximating a cat basket.  The shivering form inside only opened its eyes a little to look at us as if even that effort was too much.  It was clear to me at least that her condition had certainly not improved since we had last seen her.  It was also clear that in the agitated state of mind that the cat certainly was in, that Professor McGonagall wasn't going to be taking rational steps towards returning to her to her human form anytime soon.  When we were learning to transform she always maintained that it was the most important thing that we do everything we could to learn the process of returning ourselves to normal before we even thought about the initial change.  She admitted to having never been stuck herself but from what I gather her training was somewhat different from ours – I guess that's the difference between those who have the natural ability and those who have to learn.  In any case, being inside a body so entirely different from your own is more than a little confusing to begin with and Peter on the first few attempts had a habit of getting so wound up that he couldn't reverse the process.  On the first occasion McGonagall sorted him out but the next she insisted we try.  This time round, after Professor Dumbledore had sent Madame Pomfrey away, he cast the charm.  We sat on the rug and I did everything I could to stay calm.  I wasn't going to be any help to anyone otherwise but to start with she flinched back every time we went to touch her and without physical contact there was no-way we would succeed.  Then Dumbledore joined us and slowly began to stroke her somewhat matted fur and she calmed a little.  He whispered soothing words to her for a few minutes most of which I couldn't and didn't try to make out but after that he gave us a nod.  Carefully I reached out and placed a hand on her back, Sirius did the same and we both closed our eyes.  I don't know how to explain what it feels like when your mind is being shared be other people and you're sharing theirs and I don't think I'll try.  It's not like I knew everything that was going on in Padfoot's mind or that he could see into all of my memories but I could certainly feel his presence.  It took me a few seconds to realise that the Professor was there at all though.  We both knew that we needed to get a fairly secure mental 'grip' on her before we walked her through the transformation and at that moment she was so withdrawn and hidden within herself that that just wasn't going to happen._

'Professor?' I asked.  There was something skirting around the edge of our consciousnesses but there was no reply.

_'Tabby?' This time it was Sirius and I could have hugged him when the name brought forward something far more discernable.  'Don't worry.  We're here to help you.'  He coaxed her forward.  'To help you change back.'  If I had hugged him before then I would have slapped him then because it was impossible to miss the wave of fear that threatened to drown her.  I took the initiative this time._

_'Don't worry.  We'll keep you safe.  We won't let anybody hurt you and Pro…and Albus is waiting for you.  He's worried.  Can you hear him?'  Luckily this seemed to do the trick I would have been at a loss as what to do otherwise.  I'm not sure how much longer it took us to walk her back but when I opened my eyes again there were four of us on the rug in front of the fire._

_"Poppy!"  Dumbledore called as the three of us looked down at someone we barely recognised.  Her clothes were ripped, to shreds in some places, and there were dark bruises flowering on her ivory skin in more places than there were not.  But far more disturbing than that were her eyes.  They were only open for a few seconds before they rolled back in her head as she lost consciousness but I honestly think they may haunt me for the rest of my life._

_            It's about eleven-thirty now and everyone's gone home that's going, I'm not sure who else is still around apart from us but I'm on my own at the moment so I'm not sure that I care.  It's cold outside but there hasn't been any more snow and I'm sitting at the edge of the lake watching the giant squid turning lazy summersaults in the water.  When Madame Promfrey appeared Padfoot and I silently excused ourselves and headed back to the tower.  Lilly and Moony had retreated into the seventh year boys dorm I guess in an attempt to avoid the rest of the house as they ran around doing last minute packing before the train left at ten.  If anyone noticed us creeping back in then they didn't comment on it, or our appearances, which can't have been on top form either.  Unless I'm mistaken it was Dumbledore that had arranged for the hot sweet tea that was waiting for us, and it was exactly what we needed.  There was food to but I don't think that any of us did more than pick at it, I know I certainly didn't have the stomach for it.  I'm pretty sure I saw Hellios and Satine Malfoy on their way up the path a while ago.  I guess that Dumbledore wants to tell them in person that he's about to kick their son's ass out of this place and make sure he ends up in some god-forsaken prison for the rest of his life.  Part of me would love to be a fly on the wall during that conversation."_

A/N:  I know this isn't that long but I'll try to post again soon baring another bought of writers block (or guilt that I should be revising *smile*) But then again if no-on reviews I may not….  Thanks to all of you who have though,  Linz


	9. In Fits and Starts

Chapter 9 – In Fits and Starts

            _"As I was walking back up to the castle after I finished writing earlier, I heard someone talking as they came through the main doors and down the stairs.  I stepped back a little into the shadows to listen, as there weren't many people that could rant the way Hellios Malfoy was._

_"For Merlin's sake boy!  What on earth did you think you were doing?"  He hissed as he stormed ahead of his wife and child, cloaks billowing out behind him. Malfoy junior was looking distinctly worse for wear when he came into view - not that he didn't deserve it.  "I mean if she was worth it you should have at least put some thought into it.  Planned it out, not just gone on some drunken rampage…"_

_"If I hadn't forgotten my wand…" Lucius tried to interrupt._

_"I doubt you would have remembered a good enough memory charm anyway.  And you should think yourself lucky she didn't get away!  She could have changed into a bloody cat before and gotten away from you quite easily no-doubt, wand or no wand.  Why did you have to pick an animagus of all people?  And Dumbledore's pet__ animagus at that too!  Well you'd better hope that…" He trailed off after that or at least I couldn't hear anymore as they made their way down the drive towards the gate.  I don't know what struck me more; that Malfoy senior was not condemning his son's actions, only that he was caught, or that he was doing so in front of his wife.  Either way I must have stood on the same spot for at least five minutes before I pulled myself together and headed back inside and towards the tower.  I didn't tell any of the others what I heard; I just couldn't bring myself to do it.  Sirius was apparently asleep upstairs when I climbed through the portrait hole, and after a couple of games of chess which didn't come to anything as no one was really concentrating, I followed his example.  I'm not sure if it was because we didn't get much sleep last night or what we did this morning, but neither of us woke up until about six this evening.  It wasn't long after that that Moony stuck his head around the door and told us that Professor Dumbledore had arrived in the common room with food.  He made sure that we were all seated and that we ate something before he would answer any of our questions.  Eventually he let us know that Professor McGonagall was 'resting comfortably' now and that she was 'doing as well as could be expected'.  He didn't tell us much more than that but I really didn't expect him to.  He thanked Padfoot and me for our help this morning, and all of us for our continued discretion as if it was something that not everybody would have willingly given.  But maybe they wouldn't have…that's not something I want to dwell upon tonight of all nights.  He also informed us that we would also likely be receiving a visit from the WLEA or Wizarding Law Enforcement Agency and asked that we merely tell them what we saw.  Of course we all agreed again readily, then Moony asked the question we all wanted to.  He asked about Malfoy.  The professor informed us that he had been asked to leave until further action was taken, hopefully before the start of the next term.  We nodded solemnly at that; we all knew exactly what we wanted to see happen.  What he said next was yet another example of how incredible Dumbledore actually is.  He took the time to look at us one by one, then told us that in the mean time the best thing we could do would be to get on with our holidays as we had planned. Coming from anyone else it might have sounded trite or superficial but…there's just something about him.  His sincerity, that meant I took what he said to heart and I think the others must have as well.  We just came back in after throwing the 'frisbee' thingy that Lily brought back with her at the start of term around.  Anyway, going to sleep now and again I guess we'll just have to see what tomorrow brings, for all of us._

_Night."_

            Ron looked up as he heard the book shut for the first time that morning.  Hermione was resting her hand on the cover and looking at both of them.  There was a moment's silence before Harry spoke up.

"Ice cream anyone?  My treat."  They spent the rest of the day munching on the best that Florian Fortesques had to offer and walking through the grassy park that the ministry offices looked onto.   They began to talk about other things, about their friends and what they would do when they finally left school.  Even when there was an awkward silence at the mention of their head of house or the name Malfoy, they soon moved on.  It seemed that they spent their time over the next few days in a very similar way to Lilly and the three Marauders with, thankfully, a little less homework.  James told of endless games of chess and walks through the fresh snow where Harry, Ron and Hermione tended to lie in the sun or peruse some of the more interesting shops on Diagon Alley but still, there was a distinct resemblance in the mood of the two groups.  

The first entry that stood out from the endless games of chess and walks in the snow that James spoke of was written three days after Dumbledore's visit.

_"December 21st.  Professor McGonagall came to see us today.  It was strange, seeing her sitting there on the coach.  She was as prim as ever – maybe more so, with her back ramrod straight but…but instead of holding her head high and shining with the confidence that usually flows from her she seemed nervous, shy almost.  She didn't look at us once but kept her eyes on the floor as she thanked us again, in person this time, for our 'help and mature behaviour'.  She did glance up as she told us that she was in fact much better and planned on spending some time with her sister before the start of the next term, but her eyes only made it as far as the fire blazing in the grate.  I was surprised at the implicit statement that she would be back and teaching by then, but she left us in doubt of it when she left._

"I'll see you when classes start back up again, if not before", she said as she stood to leave.  All I can say is that she has more respect from me than almost anyone else I can think of and strangely enough, ludicrous as it may have seemed when she said it perched timidly on an overstuffed couch, I don't doubt it for a minute.  If I know anything about the Professor and Gryffindors in general, she'll get straight back on the horse as soon as Malfoy is evicted from the paddock."

Listening to four or five entries every evening, Christmas soon came and went, and before they knew what was happening, James was looking at the end of the holidays.  The days seemed to pass similarly (with the exception of the visit from the WLEA officials), until, with just four days before the start of term, Dumbledore sought the marauders out again.

A/N – I know it's been an age since I updated so… sorry.  Different format, let me know if you like it better and don't forget reviews are always welcome *smile*  Oh yeah, and thanks to those who have already.

Thanks for reading,  Linz


	10. Oneeighty

Chapter 10 – One-eighty

_"7th January.   I…I'm not sure what I want to write but…well I have to write something.  Do something.  I honestly didn't think I could feel any worse than I did that evening, or in the hours that followed but now… now I'm not so sure.  This morning we were...we were talking about getting back to classes and, well, what Snape was going to do without his idol.  I guess it's all come back to haunt us.   I just can't believe this is happening.  I mean after everything else…_

"Let's start from the beginning again; that seemed to work last time.  After lunch today Professor Dumbledore came to see us in the common room again.  I wasn't totally surprised by this.   I had been expecting…we had been expecting to hear something about the trial date that the Wizarding Law Enforcement Agents had told us we would probably have to testify at.  Anyway, the look on his face set off alarm bells, in me in any case.  I know I said that in the last few weeks when we had seen him that the sparkle in his eyes had been diminished, but this afternoon it had been replaced entirely by something that I doubt any of us had ever seen before.  He was angry.  I could see it.  We could feel it in the very air, but this didn't last.  It seemed that when he looked at us sitting there, he snapped out of it, and a sorrowful smile was slid into place.

_"I…I need to speak to you."  He said quietly as he crossed the room and sat on the coffee table, his back to the fire.  We shuffled around so that we were facing him on the couch where Professor McGonagall sat when she came to visit us last.  I glanced at Moony and it seemed we had the same thought at the same moment._

_"Professor," I ventured.  "the Professor, she's…she's not…"   The Headmaster shook his head._

_"She was in good health when I spoke to her this morning."  I let out a breath that I hadn't noticed I had been holding.  "However, she asked me to inform you of the _decision _she has come to, regarding the events at the end of the last term."  _

_"Decision?" Lilly asked from next to me._

_"Yes, well, I'm sure that it will become clearer after I've finished.  In short, Professor McGonagall has come to the conclusion that it would be best for all involved not to press for this matter to be taken before a court."  It took me a minute to comprehend what I had just heard.  Sirius reacted faster though and was on his feet before I was._

_"What!  He can't just get away with this!  It was wrong!  He needs to get what he deserves!"_

_"Mr. Black."  Dumbledore said forcefully.  He sat back down with a helping hand on his arm that belonged to Remus.  "There are circumstances and other factors that unfortunately make this situation a little more complex than it would at first seem."  Padfoot was up and pacing despite Moony's best efforts.  He was standing looking out the window when the Professor paused for breath.  Spinning on his heel he turned and spoke._

_"He…he RAPED her for Merlin's sake!  How complex does it need to get?"  There was complete silence; the kind that only ever occurs after a statement like that.  Looking back on it, I think that he was the first one to actually say it.  To admit out loud what we had all subconsciously known had happened that night.  _

_            "Eventually we all turned back to Dumbledore whose eyes were downcast.  He must have felt our gaze however, as he looked up at us and I was again shocked by the intensity of his gaze._

_"Unfortunately Mr Black that is a fact, that though _we_ may be in no doubt of, would be tremendously hard to prove in a court of law."  This time Remus spoke up._

_"But surely, surely there are spells…or they could use Veritaserum on Malfoy.  Then they would now what he really did."_

_"A sensible suggestion. However, in order for Veritaserum, the only truly reliable truth serum, to be used, permission from both parties' council must be given.  Unsurprisingly, the Malfoy family lawyers seem to be in no way inclined to agree to its use."_

_"But there must be…must have been physical evidence…"  Lily trailed off._

_"All of which could be explained by a consensual, if somewhat unusual, encounter."  Dumbledore replied quietly.  We sat in silence for a while, and even from the other end of the couch I could feel the fury rising in Sirius._

_"When dealing with Hellios Malfoy, one has to be aware that he and his family have the power to manipulate, corrupt and threaten the best intentioned and the purest of soul.  He has made it perfectly clear that he would not hesitate in ensuring that everyone involved in a case against his son would have their names dragged through the mud and their word forever discredited."  Again the headmaster had let his gaze fall downward to the floor, but now he looked up.  "You have to remember that there is a difference between bravery and fools courage.  In this case, when nothing could be achieved and everything lost by pursuing revenge, or even justice, the bravest thing may be to face up to what has happened, only in order to put it behind you and carry on with the rest of your lives."  I got the distinct impression that we weren't necessarily who he was talking about then, but the principle still applied.  Padfoot broke my chain of thought again when he spoke._

_"If I ever see that slimy, two-faced, pure-blood bastard again, I'm going to wipe the floor with him!"_

_"I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to refrain from doing that, at least while you are both students here."  There was a chorus of **'WHAT!'s** at this statement.  "Without the backing of a charge, never mind a conviction, it would be impossible for me to expel young Mr Malfoy.  This action requires the agreement of the governors, and there is the added complication that one of them happens to be his father.  So Lucius will return after the holidays to continue with his studies, in everything except Transfiguration, and if you have any respect for either Professor McGonagall or myself, you will refrain from making any reference to what has passed.  To anyone."  Before anyone else could say anything, Sirius was up and out the portrait hole, letting it swing shut behind him with a crash.  I quickly made my excuses and went after him.  It took me a little under two hours to find him, and when I did he was prowling around at the edge of the forbidden forest.  I sat down on the grass and watched him as he paced between two of the giant oak trees on the forests perimeter.  He ignored me to begin with, but eventually he stormed across and threw himself onto the ground next to me and did the last thing I had expected.  He cried.  Not over-blown bawls, but quiet tears streaming down his face.  I don't remember why, but I put a hand on his shoulder and just sat quietly until he calmed somewhat, eventually enough to speak._

_"It's not quite what I had in mind for a just punishment."  He said smiling morosely._

_            Well, here I am again.  Sitting on my bed trying to sort out what _I_ feel about all of this before trying to sleep.  At first it threw me, this whole thing, because admitting defeat isn't something I'm used to hearing from those two.  Dumbledore is an expert at finding his way out of seemingly impossible situations, and "try and try again" seems to be Professor McGonagall's motto most of the time, but then it clicked.  When I was thinking it over, I realised that it wasn't her own reputation that the professor was concerned for; it was ours.  Ours; the schools and Dumbledore's.  He said it and must have realised it himself, and she must have realised it too.  Malfoy wouldn't be satisfied with marring her name, to ensure that any allegations were firmly buried; all of us would have to be shot down.  That was obviously something she didn't feel was worth the end result.  I don't know where that leaves me.  If I thought we could have actually gotten a result I would have told her that I didn't care what they said about me but…Dumbledore was right in a way.  There is so little we could gain, knowing whom we were working against.  In any case, the decision really wasn't ever any of ours to make, was it?  And yet again, tomorrow is a new day, and tomorrow night will give us something else to think about when Moony, Padfoot and Prongs ride again." _

A/N: Well here it is at last – the next chapter.  As ever I want to thank my beta – Maria, and ask you to review now that you've taken the time to read.  Thanks, Linz


	11. The Jigsaw

Chapter 11 – The Jigsaw

A/N – yes I know you've all been waiting an age but I really didn't want to screw this up *smile* I'll let you judge whether this endeavour was successful or not once you reach the bottom but my beta (the ever fabulous Maria) thinks that it's passable so…. *grin* In any case, enjoy and let me know what you think.

            Harry lay in bed later that night, long after he assumed the other two had gone to sleep, thinking about all that his father had told him over the last few weeks.  He had been so incredibly glad to get a chance to hear what the marauders had gotten up to first hand, and then the whole thing had been turned upside down.  Hermione, Ron and he had listened to the end of the diary that night but it barely took them further than the start of the term.  Perhaps the most shocking account had been of the differences between Malfoy's return and Professor McGonagall's.  Where the blonde had been met with interested questions about his sudden departure and uncommon last-minute change of courses and had brushed them off easily, the Professor's first appearance had been a little different.  Though there had been no outright questions – certainly none in front of James - there had been comment on the quite observable changes that had occurred since they had last seen her in the classroom.  The long black hair was now pulled up into an even more formal bun, to match her even sterner style.  It hadn't been hard to match the traits of their own teacher, to those that his father had seemed a little unnerved, if not surprised, by.  Now that he took the time to think about it, he supposed that he had always realised, or at least subconsciously assumed, that there was something different about her.  He had never been able to pinpoint it; whether it was some kind of grief or …well something else, it seemed to hold her back.  It was as if sometimes, she wanted nothing more than to be there for her students in every way she could, but that there was something preventing her from feeling comfortable.  The events they had just learned of more than explained any hesitance he had witnessed in her growing close to them – or anyone.

            He came to the decision that he hated Lucius Malfoy.  Not that this was really a particularly new development, but this had cemented his feelings in a way he had never thought possible.  But as he thought about it, something even more disturbing occurred to him.  Lucius Malfoy was a Death Eater.  He had no doubt about that and hadn't for some time.  But if that was true it was just as likely that this act had certainly not been his only of this sort, and probably not even the worst example.  This sent a chill down his spine as he tried to examine his feelings more closely.  It wasn't that he cared for the other victims any less, but there was something about being able to identify one that made it all so much more real; brought it to life.  He supposed it was like the difference between knowing of death and knowing death.  Now that he thought about it, he realised that there must be hundreds of woman in the same position, even if they were not so certain who their attacker had been.  He had to wonder though, how many of them had managed to move on so successfully even if it meant leaving a part of themselves behind.  It was not easy for him to try and put himself in his Professor's position for a number of reasons, but in the closest simulation he managed to conjure, the concept of having to deal with teaching the man's son - never mind having to cope with Malfoy senior's sporadic and havoc creating visits as a Governor- was beyond his comprehension.  He fell asleep, his mind still a swirl of all these thoughts, and had to be roused early the next morning to ensure that he was up in time to catch the train back to the school.

"Harry?"  Hermione asked as they were sitting in the back of the black cab they had caught from outside the Leaky Cauldron.

"Hmm?"  He replied turning to look over the top of Hedwig's cage, at where she was sitting opposite him.

"I just, I just wanted to make sure you were ok?"  He guessed that she wasn't simply meaning in general.  "I know how much getting your father's diary meant to you.  I guess we just weren't expecting it to hold so many dark secrets."  He nodded and glanced at Ron, who was alternating between glancing out of the window and drumming his fingers on the armrest of the door.

"I suppose it makes sense that there was something fairly radical in this one, this diary I mean."  He ventured not long after.  "There had to be a reason why he asked Sirius to look after it.  Why he thought it was special."

"He didn't want it to be forgotten."  Ron put in.  "He wanted to make sure that you knew what had actually happened back then."  He supposed his friend was right. His father had wanted to keep the memory alive, however unpleasant that memory was.  When he was doing some last minute packing he had come across the letter that his Godfather had sent along with the book, the offer of clarification where they could offer it.  It made him wonder; he hadn't had many opportunities to observe either Sirius or Lupin interacting with the Professor, but when he had they had certainly seemed…'close' wasn't quite the word, but they seemed to have an underlying understanding.  Whether he had never noticed it before or had simply chalked it down to shared experience in the Order he couldn't be sure now, but somehow like so many other things, the pieces just seemed to fall into place.

            Their arrival at the station was a little on the late side, so they had to rush to the platform and were, as far as Harry could tell, the last people on board.  Once they had manage to tug Ron's chest aboard they all collapsed in a heap, and really couldn't help but laugh at the look on some of the first year's faces as they had thrown their luggage perhaps just a little to close to the group standing in their way.  Eventually they pulled themselves together and apologised and introduced themselves (which lead to the now customary rounds of 'oohs and aaahs') after which they made their way through a few of the carriages until they found Neville and Ginny sitting in a compartment on their own.

"Oh there you are!  I thought we'd left you behind!"  She said, launching herself at her brother as soon as they walked through the door.  This was followed by a long stream of questions, which were pretty much indecipherable.  She ended this by producing the now compulsory package of sandwiches and telling them,  "Mum wasn't sure that you'd have been eating properly, so she made you all some."  He smiled at this.  It seemed that Mrs Weasley had coped with the increasingly few of her children who were still at home by trying to feed anybody else who happened to walk close enough by.

"Actually," Hermione said after storing Crookshank's cage safely on the rack above their heads,  "I didn't get time for breakfast."  She reached across and began unwrapping them.  The same thought obviously hit Ron and Harry at the same time, as they both helped themselves too.

The sights, familiar now from six years worth of trips, sped past as time progressed and Harry found that the longer he spent in the company of his school mates, many of whom made visits into their compartment, the more relaxed he became.  Part of him began to feel as if the whole holiday and all that it had contained belonged to a different world entirely.  They played exploding snap and reminisced about how it had felt when they were first years, until the tea trolley had appeared and they had bought enough to feed a small army.  It was late in the afternoon when they had settled into a comfortable semi-silence, when the piece was broken by a sneering and instantly recognisable voice.

"Well, if it isn't the Boy Wonder, his faithful if decidedly incompetent side-kick and their bit of _fun_ on the side."  He saw a flash of red as Ron was past him in an instant.  Malfoy had barely made it through the door before he was pushed straight back out.  Hermione and Harry managed to grab an arm each before their friend could lay in properly though.  Once Harry had a firm grip on him, he nodded to Hermione who simply walked over and shut the door in the blonde's face, leaving him and his two tank-like companions looking rather mystified.

"I thought you had given up on getting pissed off at him?"  Neville asked.  Harry was seething, his teeth clenched as he forced himself to take a few breaths before replying.   

"It's a little different now" was all he said.  He couldn't believe that he had just heard that – it was like Draco was a carbon copy of the man they had read about.  Hermione was trying to calm Ron down but he could tell that she had seen it to.  Before he had very much longer to brood on it however, the whistle blew as the train slowed to the only stop it made on their journey – they were at Hogsmeade. 

            Harry had seen five of the six previous sortings that took place before the welcoming feast in the Great Hall, but even still he was fascinated by the stream of youngsters who followed the Deputy Headmistress into the hall.  It wasn't until she called out 'Norwell, Lucy' and he misheard the girl's first name that it all came crashing back down around him.  For the first time he looked at her knowing that his Head of House, the woman standing there in front of them all, was the same woman his father had described sitting perched on the edge of the common room sofa.  She was the same woman that James commented on Sirius watching from the back of the class room as he wondered if she ever took her braid out, and his friend wondered what she wore under her robes.  He was startled out of his epiphany when the hat announced in its confident air 'Slytherin', and a roar went up from the table at the edge of the hall.  He saw the blonde standing up and clapping enthusiastically.  He couldn't be sure that the look on Malfoy's face wasn't simply in his mind, but it was almost predatory.  Never having seen Draco 'under the influence', he could not guess what he would be like but it was decidedly easy to picture him behaving in a similar manner to his father.  He shuddered.  The rest of the meal passed quickly, the usually stunning food tasting like cardboard in his mouth.  Gryffindor had received a large group this year and after helping to herd them up in the direction of the tower, he slipped off into the seventh year dormitories.  Closing the curtains, he shut out the rest of the world and pulled some parchment and a quill out of trunk and began to write.

_Dear Sirius,_

He stopped for several minutes and sucked on the end of his quill as he tried to think of what it was he wanted to write.

_I read the diary._

In a way that seemed to cover it, but he knew that his Godfather would not know how much he knew from that simple statement.  He couldn't even decide what the purpose of his letter was.

_I know.  It makes so much sense that now that I do, I wonder why I never saw the…the gaps it fills before this.  I guess I just…I want you to know that I understand why you didn't…nothing happened back then.  Or at least I think I do.  Maybe I shouldn't be telling you this – I don't know how much you know about what Dad thought about all this.  Maybe you should have read the diary.  Maybe I shouldn't have.  _

_Don't take that the wrong way.  I loved being able to hear about you and Lupin and Mum, but I just wonder if I…If there was anything to be gained by me, us, knowing this.  It just seems so stupid now.  The Professor looked the same as ever today, the same as she always has to me – except now I know that she wasn't always like that.  I can't walk around in the same haze that assumes that adults, that Professors, were born old or that they're beyond our reaches to hurt._

            He wrote and he wrote until the small hours of the morning.  He was only vaguely aware of the noises his fellow students made as they to went to bed, of the last of the natural light fading from the gap at the bottom of his hangings.  Pages and pages of his thoughts; sometimes making unprecedented leaps from one aspect of life to another and in other instances, simply repeating the same things.  All his fears and concerns had culminated in his desire for revenge. He spoke about Draco and his attitude, and his own concerns that the son was exactly the same as the father.  He asked his Godfather how he was supposed to be able to sit in class with that carbon copy, knowing what was in his blood, knowing what he was capable of.  At some stage he must have fallen asleep though, as when the sun began to shine through the curtains surrounding him he woke, still fully dressed, on top of his bedclothes and in a sea of parchment.  His mind seemed clearer now than it had previously, but still the answers to his many questions eluded him.  Stretching and trying to work some of the kinks out of his neck and back, he suddenly realised that it was awfully quiet in the dorm.  Straightening his glasses he checked his watch and realised that breakfast was about to start.  He rushed through his usual morning routine taking time only to ensure that he was clean and vaguely presentable.  When he arrived in the common room he was greeted by Ron and Hermione, neither of whom looked like they had gotten any more sleep than he had.

"Morning."  Hermione said as she finished fastening her braid.  Ron just grunted.

"Yeah, guess it is."  He replied.  "I suppose we had better go to breakfast and get our timetables," he suggested, and in accord they headed through the portrait hole.  When they were descending the main staircase he paused half way down. As is typical in situations like this, it seemed that the three of them were destined to run into Malfoy absolutely everywhere they went.  This time he was crossing the entrance hall with his two cronies, quite obviously ogling a group of Ravenclaw girls in front of them.  All three of them waited until the others had entered the Great hall before they resumed their course, none of them feeling the need to express their feelings verbally.  Harry couldn't help the anger and resentment that boiled up in him at the sight of the other boy, and was so caught up in trying to analyse these feelings he had just discovered, that he almost didn't notice Hedwig swoop in through the front door and start circling them.  She hooted persistently until her master snapped out of his introspection.

"Hey girl, what have you got there?"  He asked, referring to the letter that was attached to her leg.  The bird lowered herself onto Harry's shoulder and obediently stuck out a leg to allow him to remove it.

"Messers H. Potter and R. Weasley and Miss H. Granger."   He read aloud before turning the envelope and slitting the seal.  If the graceful handwriting hadn't told him who the author of this message was, then surely the seal would have.  No one else in the world could possibly combine muggle candy and a phoenix in their coat of arms.  With one of his friends on either side, he removed the card inside and read what their Headmaster had to say in silence and yet together.

_We cannot blame the sins of the father upon his son, for we no-more choose whom we are born to than the seed can choose where upon the ground it shall fall.  _

_There are crimes to which no punishment can ever be equal, and so we must remember that in these cases it is often far better to think first of the victim and not the perpetrator.  After the dust has settled we must weigh carefully the prospects of letting it lie, versus the consequences of digging up past horrors; those that should be left well alone._

Harry was once again shocked by the foresight of the man they had all grown to respect more than any other in their time at the school.  These words seemed to penetrate the fog surrounding his emotions and decision-making centres, allowing him to think clearly for the first time in days.  He looked to the other two, not sure what he expected to see in their faces.  Hermione looked as if she were about to start crying but when he caught her eye she smiled, and Ron nodded when she in turn looked to him.  He was sure they all knew it was not necessarily going to be easy to accept what they had learned and return to their old ways, but he was certain they would try their best.  As they entered the hall where breakfast was well underway he couldn't help but look up to the staff table.  As ever, Dumbledore communicated all he wanted in a single look and Harry let a smile flicker across his face in response. He had no idea how he had even known that they had read the diary - never mind how it had left them feeling - and he supposed he never would. It would be chalked down as yet another example of what made this man so special.  Walking towards their House table, he let his gaze drift towards his Head of House.  At that particular moment, she seemed to be arguing vehemently with Snape over something that looked very like the Quidditch practice schedule.  This lightened his heart as he realised that maybe things hadn't changed as much as he had suspected.  The pieces had fallen into place, but still it was the same jigsaw as always.


End file.
